It’s Never Just “I Beseech YOU”
Online Since December 1996 or January 1997. Remastered and reposted April 10, 2006.
In the nineties, Chris was doing various collectible card game art assignments, and so was into watercolors. Watercolors are famously the most difficult of paints to master, and so he didn’t even really try. All he knows is, it makes the lovely fires look so very pretty.
Longtime visitors to the site may have noticed text in the images as they load. With high speed access more common, some of you may never have seen the stuff we hid there with the IMG alt= tag. The text behind this page read:
“SUDDENLY– Everything went pitch black aboard the Dark Treacle except for a piece of fluorescent abstract art Ogrek had acquired during a cruise off Bikini Atoll.”
With the reposting of this page, the existence of the Synopsis page also comes to end. In case you come to miss it for some reason, its text is archived below:
The story so far…
Returning to Wyhtl from the planet Hard Fun©, Yamara, the unwilling halfling wife of Ogrek the Undisciplined has startled herself by completing her training as a master thief under the tutelage of the vampire Persephone, while aboard Ogrek’s curiously familiar spaceboat, The Dark Treacle. Yamara’s motivation has been to escape her matrimonial misstep with Mr. Undisciplined, and go off and do something, indeed anything, else.
Persey, having won the heart of the good human cleric, Joe Holy, and knowing that she has only a little time to squeak under the resurrection deadline before she’s stuck vampiric and bald forever, decides to join Joe in his world by making a fresh start– a secret pact with the dark dark elf goddess Denise so that one of Denise’s Evil High Priestesses will bring her back from undeadness.
Stress, another, prenumerate wife of Ogrek’s and the only dark elf Evil High Priestess on board, has performed the raising, but is now without general magic oomph for about a month. (It’s an old rule.) Her life goal is Ogrek’s death, which by now she is used to him miraculously avoiding.
Caught up in this savannah of intrigue is none other than Ralph the Toad, former familiar to the elven game show hostess Fea, and bosun aboard the Treacle. He feeds Persey cream of mushroom soup as her first living meal in 500 years, the consequences of which will Change the World.
But in the meantime, Stress has left Yocchi in charge of the World, and the dark elves back on Wyhtl. Yocchi is an extremely affable monster, the last of her kind, indestructible/regenerating/one-of-those clones, called the D.E.L.V.E.* Despite everyone hating her for her intrusively cheerful attitude, she has followed her programming and led her people to conquer all Wythl, albeit with the intent to impose democracy.
Yocchi blames Persey for her mother’s demise (on p. 44 of the Yamara book, on sale now, see THE GOODS for ordering details) and has offered such a price on Persey’s head, that some optimistic dark elf observers have opined the awakening of a genuine mean streak in the happy clone.
We enter the scene as Persey and Joe’s shipboard ceremony is interrupted by an attack by the dark elf space fleet, the resulting explosions sending Persey’s undead wedding guests flying for the escape sarcophagi, and leaving Stress without any lower outer garments.
Finally, as the mighty fleet edges closer, Ralph, the prophesied warrior valiant, revs up Ogrek’s light sportjammer, The Zaff Dingbat, and prepares himself to get the hell out of there.
*For Dark Evil Leveraged Violence Elves. A fairly accurate moniker.