The Newsletter of the World of Where Yamara Has To Live

#1.0 : August 1997 : "All the Fits That's New To Print" : Email : Website DEXCON 6 Chris, Sam Lewis Put Nexus Into the Thrillzone; Barbara Makes a Vow Surrounded in the paneled luxury of the smoking room of the Sheraton Meadowlands, Chris, Sam and Steve Hess battled fatigue and the fiendish screams of joy from players as they delivered as much of the 100 hours of non-stop Nexus/ Avatar System gaming as they dared. Results Meanwhile, Barbara and honored Dexcon guest Steve Jackson were among the many celebs holding forth at the con, and in Manhattan, all July 4 weekend. Bar also made a surprise announcement at the "Yamara" seminar that she intended to publish a long-awaited serious work of Manui & Adams' within the year. Above Left: Strongholds. The game most raved over by Avatars at Dexcon. BEIJING PROTESTS TSR BUYOUT: MILITARY RESPONSE IMMINENT Unknown Fate for Dragon Dice Throws Cloud Over Future of Hong Kong, Chinese Economy Exclusive to Radio Free Wyhtl "The economy of the entire colony depended on the mass appeal of those dice," exclaimed a panicked Hong Kong plastics reseller who begged not to be identified. The business panic created in the wake of the WotC letter of intent to purchase TSR has levelled the economy of Hong Kong, less than ninety days before its lease to Britain expired. With no shipments out of TSR since early this year, the backlog of unpaid-for Dragon Dice has threatened to ruin not only the former colony's balance sheets, but that of its surrounding provinces. Hoping to deter financial instability along the entire PacRim, Wizards of the Coast (WotC), a Seattle-based game company, came forward this Spring and offered to purchase the ailing Wisconsin manufacterer/publisher, creators of the famous Dungeons & Dragons game. Critics around the world immediately questioned whether the successful Dragon Dice game would be scuttled. Dragon Dice is a TSR product once in competition with Wizard's popular Magic: The Gathering card game. Speculation ran rampant in world markets. In an official statement, the Communist government in Beijing declared "a state of retaliation" exists between itself and Wizards. "This is a blatant attempt to undermine the free-market system," read the statement. "Besides, everyone knows they're evil. --Evil!" Wizards has denied the second charge of evil. Nevertheless, the People's Republic has launched a new, heretofore unregistered fleet into the South China Sea, with known elements of its navy steaming into the North Pacific. The White House issued a statement earlier today apologizing profusely to China, stating that the President felt helpless and small in the face of Wizards of the Coast. "China got all the money back the DNC was going to spend on Magic cards," a flustered George Stephanopolis said, addressing reporters this afternoon. "What more do they want?" In a related story, Apple Computer announced the merger with NeXT a success, with Steve Jobs back into the fray, and a 200% improvement in shipping schedules, sales, and consumer confidence. "If only World War Three doesn't break out over this dice thing," Jobs commented, "the Mac is back." On Wythl, the office of Top Person Yocchi issued a letter calling for calm, and asking that all interested persons on Earth keep things in perspective.

THE TIP OF GABRIELLE'S TONGUE In a press release last April, Aetherco exposed the truth that the media has kept silent: Xena is the first lesbian lead character in US prime time TV series, not Ellen Morgan on the sitcom "Ellen". The proof boils down to something Xena's sidekick Gabrielle said to a third character in a February episode. Chris intends to keep his promise to buy a Disney-related product since Ellen was allowed to come out on the air April 30. (See RFW #0.8) But it probably won't be a Quasimodo, as those sold out long ago. Maybe a ticket to "George of the Jungle". But not "Disney's Hercules"! Give it up, guys! You lost!   Media response to the Xena revelation was... more silence, even an arguable increase in silence. Read all about it. RUmoR coNtrOl Super Nova back on track? Whispers are that the card games Super Nova from Buccaneer Games, and Gridiron from Precedence may be rejuvenated with fresh investments. Perhaps GenCon shall reveal more... No Radio, Soap? Aetherco's expansion into radio isn't dead, we're just weighing our options. The kids at KEOL radio (Oregon) may still have their shot at a Yamara radio serial, but the new tech online makes many possibilities very tenable. Please stand by... ***Lettres*** On Tue, 08 Apr 1997 04:59:14 UTC, you wrote: Upon investigating your home page (http://www.eskimo.com/~jrandom/), we further discovered that among your comprehensive list of Bookmarks, our webpage was not listed, not even under the heading "Fun". We must insist, Erik, that Yamara _is_ Fun. I've been hearing about push media, but mail from the creators - this is something else. In my defense, I can only say I've let my meager content languish far too long, and for no readily apparent reason it hadn't occured to me yet to go looking. Oh, great - now for penance I'll have to think of someone for whom to buy an autographed copy (the next birthday in our incestuous little circle of friends is the usual hostess, and I gifted her with a vanilla copy last year). Great stuff - right up there with West End _Paranoia_ manuals for relentless humor value. I'm very glad you're still at it. Best regards.... -- Erik Seaberg - language lawyer, animation pusher, geek. Subj.: SPI purchased by WOTC Hi B&C, My sources claim TSR never recovered from "their failure to find a replacement for Yamara". Furthermore, "they now realize that they acted in haste and lost any chance to remain viable as a force in the RPG industry by opting to cater to a market that couldn't understand anything so complex." But, not to worry. WOTC at least has a solid history in RPGs and I'm sure things will continue as if nothings happened. BTW, the new "over and under" betting line for WOTC remaining in business has been changed from 44 to 32 months, but this has nothing to do with paragraph 2. I'm leaning to "under" for now. best, bob magicGU@nauticom.net

XENA VS... New Zealand has hite on its side SWAN SONG Can Wisconsin Survive on Beer and Cheese Alone? THE FORK FILES The joke is out there... Arcalula sez: SLAP A SPICE GIRL FOR ME. "a pretend slap to pretend people making pretend music in a pretend showbiz world" HAPPY 10th ANNIVERSARY to the HESSES! And a Special Mongo Thanks to VINNY SALZILLO and MARTHA SCHULZE for another incredible DEXCON!!

THE CON GAME Where we can be found... our next scheduled bomb run: GENCON '97 Wisconsin Convention Center, Milwaukee WI; August 7 - 10 I'm so glad we had this time together. Just to have a laugh or sing a song. Seems we just get started, and before you know it, comes the time we have to say... so long. Good night, everybody. http://www.wizards.com/

SAM HILL Residents of Brussels' suburbs have been advised to bring their garden gnomes indoors at night after two were gnome-napped and found "hanged" in a tree. - from The Age, Melbourne (online)